Hi Everyone,

I can't believe Baby Jessica is 4 weeks old already! This past 4 weeks have been rough to say the least. For anyone who has 2 kids and is contemplating a 3rd my advice is: stick with 2 it's a great number. I have been a flood of emotions these past 4 weeks. First, I don't function well on sleep deprivation. And Jessica has crying spells that start at 9 and last until 2 or 3 in the morning. So I have been lucky if I can get 4 hours of sleep a night and that is not consecutive. She was waking up every hour and a half to two hours to feed. I've been a waking zombie. On top of that Michael and Sarah really miss their mommy. As a result, Sarah's self-will has raised it's ugly head and she has suddenly decided she wants to do things her way, regardless. She is so stubborn, I wonder who she gets it from LOL. And some days I'm so busy caring for the baby and doing what I can around the house that I think I barely talk to Michael except for yelling at him to be quiet and to stop teasing Sarah. I can't wait for the day when I can reconnect with him, I just hope it's not too late by then. Guilt, I think it goes hand in hand with being a mommy.

Anyway, Jessica is big enough, size wise, to nurse lying down. So I've finally moved her into bed with me and the past 2 nights have been great. She has slept longer and so have I. It is so nice to get more then 2 hours of sleep at a time. She is so observant, studying object and people. Did I mention that she has been smiling since she was a week old. She even smiled at her pediatrician at her 2 week check-up and Dr. Raj said she will be very intelligent that she has never seen a baby smile this young before. Let's hope she is right. I had to take the baby to a Pediatric Cardiologist. She seems to turn blue occasionally, especially at the pediatrician's office. So she had an EKG, Pulse Ox, and an Echocardiogram. The specialist said everything was fine with her heart and could not explain the cyanosis or blue skin coloring. I think it was just because she was cold. We have a follow up appointment next week with the Cardiologist just to be sure.

Daniel's dad and Maria came for a visit this past week to see the baby. The kids love seeing their Grandma Maria and Poppy Ronnie. Maria is a God Send. She totally took charge helping with the kids and the house. I was able to sleep-in after the nights when the baby didn't go to sleep until 3 am. It was so great having her here. I don't know what I would have done with out her. And Jessica gave her Poppy huge smiles when she first saw him. And next time they come for a visit I promise we won't do a theme park.

Well, that is all I have time to write. I will post some more picture as soon as I can.

Take Care and God Bless,
Dawn

Jessica Rachel Garan finally made her arrival Wednesday June 27, 2007 at 8:24 AM weighing 9 lbs. 8 oz.

I can’t believe she weighed that much, we thought she was going to be a small 7 lb. baby. Go figure.

She was 2 weeks over due and we didn’t think she would ever come. Everyday that she wasn’t born didn’t feel like a day closer to the big event instead it seemed to solidify what we already knew… she never was going to come and I was doomed to be pregnant forever. I had been having contractions for 2 weeks but as soon as we would start thinking it was the real thing they would stop. I had my 42-week-checkup with Michelle, my midwife, on Tuesday June, 26 and nothing was going on. Then finally late that night at 1:30 AM when I had just laid in bed contractions started again. I got up and went to the bathroom and noticed a bloody show. I then knew this was the real thing. I was finally in labor with contractions 10 minutes apart. I just wish I had got some sleep that night. I called Michelle and she was at the birthing center, another mom was in labor. We were planning a home birth and now this meant we had to change plans and go to the birthing center. This was very disappointing at the time but worked out for the best as you will learn later. The other mom was also in the tub, another glitch in our plans. She was almost complete and I was hoping she would have the baby before we needed to go to the center. So figuring we would be laboring at home for a long time I got back in bed and tried to sleep. Sarah woke up and came in our bed. We told her we were having the baby and every time I had a contraction she would rub my back. She is so sweet. Unable to sleep I called my mom and she called my sister and they made their way to our house. My dad stayed with Michael and Sarah who were sound asleep. I took a shower and when I was done contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. It was all happening a lot faster than we thought it would. I was in labor with Sarah for 5 days so going from 10 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart in 20 minutes was new for us.. Since we were planning a home birth we didn’t have anything packed for the birth center. We literally threw things in grocery bags and jumped in the car. The ride was very painfully, every bump and turn made each contraction 10x more intense as my belly was jiggled all over the place.

When we got to the birth center I went right to the upstairs birthing room. The other mom had just started pushing in the tub. I was still hopeful that she would have her baby and that the tub would be cleaned out before I was ready to deliver. I had been building up for a water birth from the beginning. It was around 3:00 am at this point. I was checked and found to be 7-8 cm. This was great news because so far labor was very manageable.. I labored upstairs for the next 5 hours alternating between the toilet and the bed. The baby’s head was still high so it made getting rid of the little cervix I had left difficult. Contractions got unbearable at about 6:30 and I was angry because it was so easy to get to 8 cm but so hard to get to 10. Around 8:00 am the other lady finally pushed her baby out. No chance of my water birth now. At this point the pain was so unbearable that I was alternating between crying and screaming, which is why it really worked out that we didn’t have the baby at home, Michael and Sarah would have freaked out and the neighbors would have called the police. I started to kind of feel the urge to push and Michelle had me lay flat on my back. Which normally is not the best way to push, but worked for me since the baby was still high. Michelle wanted the baby to ease into my pelvis instead of shooting out which would causing me to tear. I started to really push but had to stop; the pain was so completely intense when I pushed that I couldn’t handle it. This is when the real screaming started. So I did these little grunting pushes instead with a couple big pushes at the end. It all worked out because after only 15 minutes of pushing Jessica was born. The bonus is that I didn’t rip or tear or anything. And just a word about the so called “ring of fire” what a joke, it should be called the “erupting volcano of molten lava” It literally felt like someone was ripping me open. All in all, it was the single most painful experience in my life and not the peaceful water birth I had wanted, but I did succeed with a natural vaginal delivery and very healthy baby which is what counts.

Besides being exhausted I felt so good afterwards. The next couple of days my hips, tail bone, and pubic bone were achy, but because I didn’t tear it didn’t even feel like I had just given birth. It was great. The horrible pain was worth the easy recovery. And I am so glad I will never have to do that again. God blessed us with a great midwife, a short labor, and a very healthy baby. We are so thankful.

Jessica is doing great and her big brother and sister adore her. I will post pictures on our website and blog. This links are below.

Our love to all,

Daniel, Dawn, Michael, Sarah, and Jessica